Friday, December 28, 2012

RIP brave girl...

Finally the girl who was brutalized on a moving bus bid his final  farewell, she was tired and done.  Rest in peace brave sister....You were not the first to go this way or the last given the disproportionately heavy burden of crime that women face.

Of course we are stupid enough to elect and make leaders of people, not even competent to understand what they are saying. Apparently some great politician a few years ago complained about women wearing modern dresses and sending out an invitation to be raped! It was absurd and just went on the state how sick the  guy capable of making that statement. That was not the end, but the beginning.

 "Women should know how much skin they should cover.”- Karnataka's Women & Child Welfare minister C. C. Patil

OK let us discount some minor politician, but if well educated, apparently enlightened bureaucrats say  things like ....
   '“fashionable clothing,” like the salwar kameez is leading to number of rapes' Dinesh Reddy-Andhra Pradesh DGP know you are doomed and justice cannot be expected. 

Most so called leaders are just so paranoid about their position, that everything becomes a political conspiracy.  "rapes were a conspiracy to malign the government." Mr Phool Chand Mulana Haryana Congress President. Looks like he took a leaf off Ms Mamatha Banerjee's stance in one such case in Kolkota. She went a step ahead transferring a rare police officer who managed to nab the culprits.

And  then there is more,  women politicians who can brand a rape victim a prostitute.

"They (the Park Street rape and Delhi gang rape) are totally different. The incident at Park Street was not a rape at all. It was a misunderstanding between two parties involved in professional dealing — a woman and her client," Kakoli Ghosh Dastidar, MP

God forbid, after going through such  violation, a women should also suffer from character assassination? No wonder, most such crimes go unreported. After all cops are not only slack doing their job, but can become predators themselves.

"Maan Singh, a senior sub inspector (SSI) posted at Akbarpur police station in Ambedkar Nagar, was arrested on December 14 from a hotel in Faizabad by SSP D S Yadav. The arrest came after the SSP was informed that the cop had brought the gang-rape victim from Ambedkar Nagar to the hotel and was raping her. The victim was rescued from the room after the cop was caught with his pants down. Now the rape victim has alleged that in-charge of the Akbarpur Kotwali, inspector AK Upadhyay, had also raped her." from the Times of India.

This is definitely not the last straw.

So it is not enough that women are unfortunate to go through such violation, they have to put up with more cognition-handicapped politicians who are brave enough to say "I don't feel any hesitation in saying that 90 per cent of the girls want to have sex intentionally but they don't know that they would be gang raped further as they find some lusty and pervasive people in the way ahead." Dharambit Goyat Haryana Congress spokesperson

No leader worth  his or her salt has come down on the crime, either by putting forward relevant legislation  or by taking to task the responsible officers. On the contrary, the suggestions we have been getting include avoiding private buses at night.

"They should also think that they should not go in a private bus at night...We say we got freedom at midnight but doesn't mean we can roam free around at midnight." Botsa Satyanarayana

As if 9.30 PM is midnight. What about women raped in cars, fields, homes and disgustingly enough in play-school..

If you are a women and if you are protesting against the lack of law and order and basic safety then you must be a "pretty pretty women, highly dented and painted" according to Mr.Abhijit Mukherjee, son of honorable president of India.

Then the home minister will brand you a Maoist. You cry for help and you are called a militant?  "It is very easy to ask the Home Minister to go to India Gate and talk. Tomorrow Maoists may come here to demonstrate with weapons" Sushil Kumar Shinde Home Minister.

Is India even a civil society?  I cannot think of any other term but BARBARIC.

Come on..there is more to it, the all powerful and all notorious Khaps of Haryana who sanction honor killings, get the first prize.

"The meeting aims at knowing the views of various khap panchayats about the issue of lowering the marriageable age to prevent rape incidents in the state. Representatives of around 100 khaps across the state will attend the meeting to share their opinion and to present their proposals on the issue," Sube Singh Samain, spokesperson of the Sarva Khap Jat Panchayat

Not only they have violated all the unspoken rules of a civilized society, they go further every time! This time they have outdone themselves, and everybody in the race to dubious distinction.

Congratulations you brutes and barbarians; It is not just Afghanistan that is lawless, India too is just as lawless.  Go pick up a girl walking home from school, or even a toddler playing the park, violate her and do what you want, you did still walk away scot-free. 

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

CA Prop 37

The conservatives are a strange bunch. They accept and promote the neoclassical thought saying that Americans should be ‘free to choose’. They should be ‘free to choose’ in economics, in what they want to produce and market. Same goes for gun control. Americans should be ‘free to choose’ if they want to own guns, even the kind police officers do not carry with them. American corporations are ‘free to choose’ what ever it takes to maximize profits including technology that can cause irreversible environmental damage, opposing the labeling of genetically modified food. 
Americans are ‘free to choose’ everything. Well when they say 'Americans' probably that automatically excludes the American women, the sexual minorities etc. The women are not ‘free to choose’ whether they want to carry on an unwanted pregnancy or not. Gay people are not ‘free to choose’ whom they want to marry. So much so that two people who are in love and want solemnize their relationship are not ‘free to choose’ the word ‘Marriage’ to define their relationship. Other ordinary Americans whose lives are affected because of apathetic pollution are ‘free to choose’ to pack up their bags and leave but are not ‘free’ to ask for damages. Are not these serious flaws in the thought? If ‘Americans are free to choose’ so should be American women, American queer community etc.
Thankfully they also thought that drafting goes against the tenet. So indeed Americans are ‘free to choose’ if they want to go and fight a war or not.
If I ask for labeling of genetically modified food, I will probably be branded a ‘tree hugger’, so I am not ‘free to choose’ what I want to eat. The corporations that sell me food whereas are ‘free to choose’ to feed what me what ever they can make a profit on.
CA please vote yes on the Prop 37, so that one day we are ’free to choose’ if we want to eat the GM garbage or not.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Arrange Marriage or Love Marriage

Heard a celebrity scholar comment on arranged marriages on the radio. He was of the opinion that arranged marriages are unworkable in our times. The forcefulness of his argument made me sit and  think. Are arranged marriages so bad? after all I have always loved love stories and of course love marriages are so exciting. But then marriages are not about love story.

Let us get to the advantages of arranged marriages:
  1. No dating pressure, peer pressure to have a girl/boy friend and will not have to keep looking for love if it does not happen.
  2. The whole processes of looking for a soul mate is out-sourced and elder family members will do it for you.
  3. People with absolutely no decision  making power will end up marrying. If not for arranged marriage, they would be single.
  4. 'Lemons'(not to be condescending to others. I respect everybody but then our society is prejudiced and I cannot deny it) -will eventually find partners. For example darker girls being married off even if it means a large dowry. (I am dark myself, and I am happy with my skin)
  5. Eventually there will be more couples and  procreation will go on. Not that our species is under the threat of extinction.
  6. Post marriage troubles are usually addressed by the elders.
  7. Fewer compatibility issues on the grounds on of food habits, language and so on
  8. Both the partners start with lower expectations. No love-rush before getting married and disappointment later on after the love-rush subsides.
Now for the disadvantage
  1. Arranged marriages are very expensive. The cost can be prohibitive and crush  people on the fringe under the load of debt.
  2. Everything goes for a price, and the natural bio-chemical attraction has no place in the market.
  3. Personality mismatch.

Now for the advantages of love marriages:
  1. You think you know your partner well enough and decide consciously to live together.
  2.  Pure bio-chemistry at play. Something inexplicable is driving the relationship and it must be strong enough to stand the test of time.
  3. The feeling of being in love is unbeatable. People go berserk when they feel they are in love.
  4. Love marriages unless taking the conventional wedding route can be very inexpensive.
  5. Children born out of love marriages are most likely to learn more languages.  They are also exposed to many more cultures and more likely to be more pluralistic.
The disadvantages of love marriages:
  1. Incredible amount of pressure to fall in love and find a partner and get married.
  2. Complete decision making on the individual. May be a lot of pressure.
  3. Pressure to find love might make people choose the wrong person.
  4. 'Lemons' might never be able to make it to the market.
  5. Courtship can be expensive, with movies and restaurant bills to foot
To see it in a way, arranged marriages are like command and control economies and love marriages are like free market.Just like the command and control economies, arranged marriages are planned and directed by some authority above. Just the execution is left for the individuals. The match is arranged, the date and venue everything is decided by the elders of the two families and the individuals might or might not have a say in all of  these. The  individuals just execute the plan given from above, get married and then procreate.

Whereas in the love marriage, individuals are free to choose whom they want to get married to and the way they get married to etc. They might want to have the wedding the way their parents desire but then the primary decision is all their own. That is, they decide what to do with their resource(life), and eventually execute it the way they want it. Just like free market.

So, if you are above average person (financial, looks,confidence etc) then try your luck in the free market. Free market rewards the 'haves' better than 'have-not'. And chances are that you will find a partner of choice and of course experience the love-rush that can beat the most thrilling of roller coaster. Otherwise arranged marriage might not be so bad.

The only take away from my  thought process is that an individual should as much have a choice of going for an arranged marriage as for love marriage. Just like no one should be stopped from marrying a person  they love (regardless of sex,colour, caste,creed) no one should be stopped from choosing arranged matches either. I  hate it when people stigmatize arranged marriages.  Not all arranged marriages are brutal and forced co-habitation of a city bred modern girl and a tribal from the Hindu Khush.