Sunday, August 12, 2007

Marriage

As i sit here today on this humid and hot Delhi summer afternoon, all i think of is why are wives and girlfriends so demanding?? They crave for attention, they always need their men around them, they want their men to do what they say; Wives particularly try and compete with the mother-in-law trying to prove that she is no less a cook than the senior one, making an effort either prove that "mothers know best" is wrong or "wives too know the best" is right!!

What will the poor man go through? I really cant stop wondering!He must be in a real tight spot. After all what to do.. You cant dance to your wives tune always, you cant always be with her, what will your tennis friends think about you if you skip a match appointment just because your wife wanted to shop for grocery?What will your poker partners say if u skipped an appointment just because u were forced to take you wife to her friend's house?What an embarrassing situation it did be. And men act like fools.. They want to have a good married life, at the same time find sacrificing a few of their bachelorhood privileges. Its after all a well known fact the you cant have your pie and eat it too..After all post marriage is a different ball game altogether. You need to accommodate another person in your space! Why are men so unprepared about this when they think of getting married? I have seen so many men jubilant at the thought of getting married, and spending hours and hours over the telephone with their would be wife.. Till then it is good. Because they don't have to share their personal space then.. all they need to do is spend some money over the phone, with corporate connections, the telephone bills too are moderate these days. These men can afford it. Everything is rosy until after marriage.
Poor thing the girls will have very high expectations from her man, expecting the same kind of importance, the same intensity of longing, the same expression of love and affection even after marriage.. But things change.. When a man and woman has to live under the same roof.. the equation changes..that can be explained using game theory. Since it is a zero sum game there will be a lot of volatility till equilibrium is attained. The man will get familiar with the new wife!! and she grows to be an old wife...familiarity they say breeds contempt... The lone pimple which was earlier 'cute beauty spot' is now grotesque. The slight curl of the upperlip which was earlier like Angelina Jolie is now just a thick upperlip...suddenly the wife appears darker than earlier, more obese than earlier.....And suddenly they start missing their old pals, their booze buddies, the corner cigarette store smoke partners...

Obviously the wife resents this new development. No one would prefer a reduction of their importance..She starts brooding about how good it was earlier..Also how comfortable it was when living with parents, someone did the cooking, someone kept the house, someone managed to keep fresh towels in the bathroom everyday... And now she needs to manage everything, check on the maids, instruct the housekeepers, make sure everything in the household is fine and running, at the same time feel less rewarded for all the efforts. At the same time there is pressure from various other sources.. like in laws.. adjustment problem in the new setup.
Everything makes her feel that she had lost everything, lost the luxury of parents house and had gained unappreciating, stressful and demanding set of people around her for a lifetime.
She starts cribbing and starts expecting at least the husband to be with her, she resents the fact that if she cant go out and meet friends and lead a carefree life like before why should the husband have the privilege? After all its a zero sum game.. If she loose invariably he gains! Why should he have that unfair privilege anyways!
The husband feels he is giving away so much and the wife feels the same... Each one will feel that way and get themselves into a cozy hells!

Well i was intelligent enough to analyse till this point.. Given the limitation of my comprehension, i m not able to think of a solution for this stalemate! If i could my own life would have been so much better!

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